Anxiety

 Most of the time, these thoughts running in my mind.

That I need to be kind, but barely can't shut these of.

People think that I m doing fine ,most of the time ,with a smile.

But all the damn time,i want to kill them all.

Then,there are my friends , want me to take out,

I shut and dodged them all.

When I thought ,i had controlled these thoughts.

The  restlessness and anxiety started kickin, the  flood of thoughts waving in my mind .

I always tried my best to be social, but it seem.likethat people shut me out ,feels like an excommunicated.

Even when  I made plans with my friends,i cancelled them all .

I wanna go out in wilderness in solitude ,I want a world ,with invisible humans when I go out .

I overthink that where I went wrong ,even when I am right , i constantly apologize for nothing,

Feels like falling in depth of despair and taking bath in my intrusive thoughts.

But all my friends don't know what's it like 

To be anxious and wanting to be perfect.

They can't understand what's it's like not to be right .

I told them to leave ,I m holding  hands with my insecurities ,i always wanted to be one of those who accepts their imperfection .

But I ve got these running in my mind ,where the valium cant even control them 

So nobody knows what it's like ,whats it's like !

Tejinder